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Dec. 27th, 2008

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TRANSCRIPT: S01E04 - The Manicoid Teleportation Conundrum

TITLE: The Manicoid Teleportation Conundrum
NUMBER: S01E04
ORIGINAL BROADCAST: July 7, 2008
WRITTEN BY: Tracey Stern
DIRECTED BY: Jeremiah Chechik
DESCRIPTION: The Middleman and Wendy are called to look into the strange disappearance of a rich socialite during a fateful shopping trip. Meanwhile, Wendy is upset to find out that Ben has posted their break-up video online and tries to avoid Lacey, who is channeling her inner therapist.


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Sep. 27th, 2008

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TRANSCRIPT: S01E03 - The Sino-Mexican Revelation

TITLE: The Sino-Mexican Revelation
NUMBER: S01E03
ORIGINAL BROADCAST: June 30, 2008
WRITTEN BY: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
DIRECTED BY: Jeremiah Chechik
DESCRIPTION: Wendy must save the day when The Middleman and Sensei Ping are kidnapped by a group of Lucha libre wrestlers.


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Aug. 27th, 2008

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TRANSCRIPT: S01E02 - The Accidental Occidental Conception

TITLE: The Accidental Occidental Conception
NUMBER: S01E02
ORIGINAL BROADCAST: June 23, 2008
WRITTEN BY: Sarah Watson
DIRECTED BY: Michael Zinberg
DESCRIPTION: When a Terra Cotta Warrior is brought back to life, The Middleman and Wendy set out to stop him before he can take the last living heir of the Qin dynasty to the land of the dead, releasing a hail of fire that will rain down on the Earth for a thousand years.


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Aug. 24th, 2008

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TRANSCRIPT: S01E01 - The Pilot Episode Sanction

TITLE: The Pilot Episode Sanction
NUMBER: S01E01
ORIGINAL BROADCAST: June 16, 2008
WRITTEN BY: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
DIRECTED BY: Jeremiah Chechik
DESCRIPTION: Wendy Watson, a struggling artist, is fired from her temp agency after a science experiment goes horribly wrong and is recruited by The Middleman, who solves "exotic problems."


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The More You Know: FYIs and FAQs

What's THE MIDDLEMAN all about?

Created by Javier Grillo-Marxuach. Initially intended to be a television series, it was turned into a comic book series, only to be later picked up by ABC Family as a television series. It began airing in June 2008. The series follows the adventures of The Middleman and Wendy Watson, his apprentice, as they fight evil so we don’t have to.

What's this COMMUNITY all about?

There were no online archives of Middleman transcripts or quotes. So, remembering the infinitely useful resource that is Arrested Development's The OP, I made one.

Why is this show on ABC FAMILY?

The official reason is that ABC Family, though traditionally a safe place for moms and kids, is attempting to change its image. "ABC FAMILY: We're a new kind of family" is the new motto. Judging by its current programming (squeaky-clean family drama, college kids dramedy, sci-fi difficult-to-define), it seems to be edging towards what the WB used to be, back in the good old days. Although, word to The Powers That Be: the world does not need another 7th Heaven. Please, spare us.

By the way, ABC Family (and its previous incarnations) has an interesting history. Check out Wikipedia.

Has This Show Been CANCELED or Is It On The Bubble?

At the moment, THE MIDDLEMAN has not been canceled. Originally 13 episodes were ordered by the network. According to the show's creator, a mutual decision between network and show was made to cut the episodes down to 12 in order to have more resources for the dozen that made the cut. All 12 episodes have been aired. We do not know if the show will be picked up for a second season, if the episodes will be reaired, or if the show will even be released on DVD. Write a letter to your congressperson expressing your support -- or, you know, the ABC Fam suits. Same idea, though, really.

Where do you get those pictures from?

There are several different screencap resources for THE MIDDLEMAN, though I usually just take my own snappie. Here is a good list of general resources and information about writing to ABC Fam.

What's THE MIDDLEMAN’S back story?

We don't know. He's a former Navy SEAL who punched his CO in the mouth and was subsequently recruited to be a middleman. His name is unknown, except that he shares his first name with his father. He very, very, very rarely swears. He likes milk and wearing his green Eisenhower jacket. As far as we know, he is single and eligible. We don't know where he lives. He is referred to as The Middlean, Boss, Bossman, MM, Sexy Bossman, and Pillow Lips.

What's WENDY WATSON'S back story?

Wendy Watson is an art school graduate who lives with her roommate and BFF, Lacey Thornfield, in an illegal sublet. She was recruited to join the agency when The Middleman saw how well she reacted to a large GM lab creature. She is speaks to her mother often on the phone, but has not seen her father since she was 14, when he disappeared after a mysterious and deadly plane crash. Wendy has had at least 4 serious relationships, 3 of which could be described as "a surly Asian guy at the airport." Her nicknames include Dub-Dub and Dubbie.

About the spelling: Closed Captions say it's spelled with an IE. Unless someone with connections to the show says it's spelled with a Y, I'm going with Dubbie.

What's LACEY THORNFIELD'S back story?

Lacey Thornfield is a confrontational spoken word performance artist, who also follows a vegan diet and enjoys activities such as throwing buckets of blood on furs and protesting sushi bars in the nude. She has a crush on Sexy Bossman, but her affection seems flighty. Lacey's soft spot: the emotional neglect by her mother.

What's IDA'S deal?

Ida is a robot who has the ability to render itself (herself?) with different human appearances. According to The Middleman, Ida's program is stuck in Domineering Schoolmarm Version 2.0. She is nearly always cranky and likes to make snappy remarks about Wendy's weed habit.

Wendy's WHAT NOW?!

For the records: we have received no indication (other than Ida's remarks) that Wendy likes the hippie lettuce. Wendy's neighboring artist Joe 90, on the other hand, is probably a safe bet if you're looking for some ganja.

Please explain why the TRANSCRIPTS are the way that they are.

During many scene changes, this show provides text scrolling across the screen, giving the location, time, and other comments. Fancy pants television people apparently call these "chyrons" and not "Law & Order Chung-Chung Scene Establisher Thingies." This text is included in these transcripts and is shown in a centered font. For abrupt scene changes that do not include chyrons and have a change in conversation or characters, the transcripts will have a basic location name (such as "The Illegal Sublet" or "The Middleman HQ"). This type of description will be centered but will be italicized.

But What About All The BLEEPS?

Being grownups in strenuous situations, certain characters on this show have been known to use a few choice phrases. These phrases are gloriously bleeped out. And it's kind of funny.

I Found a MISTAKE. I Knew You Were A Hophead.

If you find a mistake, please let me know! You can leave a comment around here, you can send an LJ message, or you can send an email to middlescript@gmail.com

Wait. What Kind of LANGUAGE Is That?!

The Middleman’s career as an international consultant has provided him with the motivation to learn to fluently speak many languages, including Hebrew and Mandarin Chinese. Wendy speaks Spanish. The transcripts will usually NOT include the non-English text because the only language I know fluently is English. If you know what they're saying and wouldn't mind shooting me an email or leaving a comment with the dialogue, it would be greatly appreciated and I'll even throw in a consolation prize for your troubles! (Just kidding. No prize but the prize of a job well done.) Otherwise, that text will have a note that the original language dialogue has been omitted and will include any subtitles provided by the show.

What if I have a question that wasn't already answered in this totally fictional Frequently Asked Questions section?

Ask away! Send an e-mail to middlescript@gmail.com or leave a comment.